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3 steps from stuck to keep moving forward

System For Winning

It can feel hard when you’re stuck, can’t it?

And stuck can mean a lot of things.

Sometimes you can feel stuck in a way that’s temporary.

Say, at a time in your career or life you’ve just gotta work through.

But other times you’ve gotta make a leap.

Maybe that’s a defensive leap because you don’t see things playing out as you planned.

Or my favorite, offensively leaping to what you TRULY want.

Either way it can feel hard, when you want it to feel natural, like you’re just taking steps.

Or leaps!

“I’m seeing the next level,” said a client.

Now I will say, for decades all he’s done is keep reaching the next level!!

And he’s very good at it.

Over this time he’s made a number of HUGE career leaps.

Changing jobs at his firm.

Moving geographies.

Strategically leaping to different firms to skip a couple of rungs on the ladder.

Doing this he’s catapulted himself to near the top of a huge business.

And now he’s looking at two different leaps from here.

They’re both awesome.

But this too is where OPPORTUNITY can turn to stuck!!

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This ONE thing drives ALL confidence

What leads you to feel confident?

You don’t often hear that question, do you?

Instead, what you most often hear is when someone lacks confidence.

Because the brain works on “deletion,” often people ONLY talk about confidence when it’s lacking.

But you rarely hear about all the ways someone is confident, do you?

Which, as it turns out, is the shortest path to solving any lack of confidence.

Confidence is contextualized

What I mean here is, when people lack confidence they tend to “generalize” the problem.

Meaning they’ll make an overarching statement like—

“I lack confidence.”

Or lacking confidence in a certain context, they’ll generalize this too—

e.g. “I lack confidence at public speaking.”

If you point out to them, “You’ve been speaking in public your entire life!”

They’ll say, “Hahaha, you know that’s not what I mean.”

But, actually, that is what I mean.

It’s an obvious fact that you speak to people in public!

Yet, in their brain, and for many of us, something changes when the context is “public” speaking.

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What would you do differently if you changed just one belief?

Limitless Mind

You know how much your beliefs govern your life.

Just one powerful belief can lead you to do amazing things.

In the same way one equally powerful limiting belief can amazingly limit you.

Consider for instance, if you believe that—

Anything is possible, and even if you fail it’s fun to try.

What might this belief lead you to do differently?

What beliefs most govern you?

Let’s play with the two parts of this belief for a moment.

Do you believe that anything is possible?

Or that your opportunities are limited?

And here, I’m not being TOTALLY literal.

You of course can’t right now click your heels and fly into space, but you also know that with the right process we’ve put people in space.

How might this relate to some or one of your beliefs in your career, business, life?

Do you generally believe that you can get what you want?

Or do you think that your life is forever limited?

How you answer this question governs what you even believe is worth going for, let alone how strongly you go after it!

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Hitting peak velocity

Ultimate Days You may have never jumped from a plane but you know the notion of terminal velocity.

This is the maximum velocity achievable by an object as it falls through fluid.

Or in the case of jumping from a plane, your maximum velocity as you punch through air hurtling toward the ground!

For this reason, I avoid the word “terminal.” 🙂

And use “Peak” velocity instead.

Peak velocity in your goals

You see this theme of velocity everywhere in my work.

Words like driving, momentum, flow, they all connote movement.

At the most fundamental level, that’s the opposite of being stuck!

When you don’t know what to do or you find yourself in the same old cycle, there’s zero momentum at all.

And what I learned early in my work is the power of getting moving.

Even if you don’t know where you’re headed, just building momentum is the crucial step to becoming that rolling stone gathering no moss as it rolls down the hill.

Peak velocity is the extreme.

It’s the maximum velocity you can build in driving forward your goals.

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What does it ACTUALLY mean to work harder?

“Nobody Cares, Work Harder.”

That’s the name of a track from rapper Dizzy Wright.

The song I’ve barely rotated.

But the title keeps hitting me!

It captures a theme in his music too.

When I came across this track a couple years ago he was working hard to break through.

Perhaps he has now, tbh I don’t pay attention.

But when I see his track it always makes me think…

Can you work harder?

What does it even mean to work harder?

What does it mean to you?

Is it raw hours?

Volume?

Production?

Getting more done in less time?

Doing harder things?

It means these and many other things to me too.

But when I was faced with having to find another gear to win…

I went deep on SIMPLIFYING it down to these two PRINCIPLES.

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Surround yourself with people who dream even bigger than you

“I didn’t meet many people at HBS like that,” a client said.

He came from an immigrant background.

Grew up with little.

Since he was a kid he’d been dreaming big of what is possible in his life.

Growing up he didn’t have many like-minded people around him.

Nor even at Harvard Business School.

Something I hear all the time

I think this is the loneliest path.

They say that about leading, and perhaps this is a version of leading too.

When you’re dreaming big.

Have a massive vision.

It can be hard to find people who think massive along with you.

And worse, you’ve gotta be careful who you tell it to.

Napoleon Hill has a phrase, “Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it.”

The notion being as another axiom goes—

You must avoid people who talked themselves out of chasing their dreams “trying” to talk you out of yours.

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“Leveraging” the great to go for your best

All of us want to live our best life.

We want the best for ourselves.

Best for our kids.

Families.

Friends.

The best for the world around us.

So why do so few of us live it?

What holds us back from living our best lives?

“Giving up”

You know the phrase—

“Giving up” the good to go for the great.

On the surface it can be inspirational.

But do you see why it holds people back?

What’s implied in this?

Do you see why I’m calling out the words “giving up?”

It’s an ambiguity of course, equating to quitting.

Coz that’s true.

That’s why so many people live a shadow of the life they TRULY want.

But it’s another definition of “giving up” I’m pointing out here.

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1 and 5 principles for getting what you want

System For Winning

“Not all seats are created equal…”

An old colleague reminded me I said that to him back in the day.

He’d wandered down to my office and as usual I was ranting about these topics!

It’s sounds exactly like what I’d say.

And I use a line like it in my Do What You Want books.

Yet it’s funny because…

This one principle I’d used for decades and just blurted out stuck with him to this day.

The power of principles

I like Ray Dalio and his principles.

In the business world, he’s the most accurate thinker I’ve discovered on these topics.

Yet, fact is, hundreds of principles are NOT principles.

As educator Harrington Emerson said—

As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods.

Even more specifically, what I gathered from my first 14 years R&D’g these topics is…

That with just 5 principles of winning you can master anything!

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Shoot for the moon and stay the course

If you boil down my method to one phrase it’s this.

The other way I often say it is—

Dream MASSIVE and keep going.

See, this is where we often get stuck or fail.

If you’re going for what you TRULY want, it likely won’t work right away.

So people never commit.

Give up too soon.

Or constantly changing their method, fail to build momentum any way.

But if you stay the course…

It ALWAYS works.

Certainly, you can never control outcomes.

So there’s lots of reasons you might not achieve that goal you might have set your mind on.

YET…

If you just keep moving forward towards your grandest vision…

Continuously getting better and better and better along the way…

You’ll land where you’re destined to be.

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For focusing on what matters, choose YOUR reality bubble

Focus Tools “You’re in a reality bubble,” she said.

Thinking it was an insult.

I took it as fact.

It was right after I told her I never pay attention to that stuff.

You know the things you’re “supposed” to pay attention to.

How some celebrity did this.

Lunatic did that.

Politician said…

Whatever, whatever

A question I keep hearing these days is—

With all that’s going on, how do you stay focused?

And it’s not just focus…

But how do you stay “optimistically” focused?

The best answer I have is—

Keep your attention on what you control.

I know that’s overly simplistic.

And I get some people see that as “narrow” minded.

Yet it also reflects the tale of two peoples you see right now.

Many people feeling stuck, are getting even more stuck in noise and distraction.

When everyone I’m close to is laser focused driving forward goals.

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A method for building more and more momentum, without the ad hockery

System For Winning

“When it pours it pours,” a client says.

He of course gets that’s the “wrong” phrase.

But it’s the right phrase for him.

He remembers what it was like the other way.

And now he ONLY wants to remind himself of how much more you can keep it pouring!

Stuck begets stuck

Earlier in his career.

When he was first building his business, he felt stuck.

“Actually, it was way worse than stuck,” he says.

“It was like I couldn’t get a win edgeways.”

He was working harder than ever.

“Hustling” harder than ever.

But it wasn’t enough.

And worse.

Feeling like nothing was working…

Like a car stuck in the mud, spinning wheels, he felt himself getting stuck more and more.

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1 thing for best starting your day, without getting lost in the “mourning” routine

Ultimate Days

How you start is often how you continue.

You certainly know the notion of waking up on the WRONG side of the bed.

And how much that can lead to the wrong side of the day.

But how much do you experiment with starting your day right?

Personally, I want methods to get my day ultimate no matter how you wake up.

And irrespective of how you wake, to use this CRUCIAL time for building incredible momentum for your day.

Many days ruined

In my last job I RUINED many days.

Waking up with someone I loved, like an actor on cue, my brain would start ruining the day.

Ugh, don’t feel like going to work today.

If only this wasn’t that.

Or whatever wasn’t whatever. 🙂

I laugh at it now because it’s just so obvious to me how I was waking up and letting that brain ruin the day.

But FACT IS, I hurt years of my life that way.

Now I see clearly, no matter what you’re doing, you’re doing it anyways, so you might as well find a way to love the one you’re with.

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Yes YOU can… But this might keep you stuck

Yes, I know that phrase might now have political connotations from the Obama campaign.

Maybe to you that’s a good thing.

Politics ISN’T my thing.

I love the way Obama used Yes We Can to drive a powerful campaign.

But I avoid the divisive, drama-filled world of politics.

And this message of yes YOU can runs far deeper than any of that.

It’s like Make America Great Again

This phrase will now forever be associated with Trump’s campaign.

I of course wrote a book on how he powerfully used this mass influence for thrashing the GOP.

And ultimately to take over the country.

But now, well, again, it’s associated with being divided.

Sadly, Americans are divided on making America Great Again…

Or maybe not.

Maybe they all still want America to be great, just by their own definition.

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How can you use this less bizarre Groundhog Day for perfecting your days?

Ultimate Days

You might be aware of the bizarre tradition of Groundhog Day.

As it goes, the direction an imprisoned groundhog looks after being pulled from its burrow is a predictor of how long the winter will last.

Truth is often stranger than fiction.

And in this case, it’s hard to say!

The fiction I’m referring to is the movie Groundhog Day.

The day repeats

I recently watched this movie as one of my clients suggested it.

Together we’re focused on advanced topics of reality construction…

And some more common topics of perfecting his day.

“The movie is both,” he said.

It’s a story of reality construction because somehow Bill Murray’s character gets caught in a time loop that makes this one Groundhog Day repeat.

“The reason you’ll love the movie is because of what he does with it,” he said.

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Give yourself an “UNFAIR” advantage

Imagine your favorite athlete right before competing.

How do you imagine them being?

What mental picture do you have of them?

How do they look?

What’s the feeling they’re “broadcasting?”

Which words would you use to describe them?

Maybe words like

Focused.

Certain.

Energized.

Motivated.

Prepared.

To have made it to their level.

And to compete at the highest levels.

You can NEVER compete any other way.

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Why can your “inner” thoughts be so different to your “outer” life?

Have you wondered why someone can have so much and still feel lack?

Why an attractive man or woman can feel ugly?

A rich person can feel financially insecure?

Someone who’s achieved enormously can fail to feel like they’ve “made it?”

I’m betting like me you know plenty of these people.

Maybe you are one of them?

I used to be.

What’s going on here?

You know we have that phrase of “inner thoughts.”

There’s nothing “inner” about it.

That’s who you are!

It’s your ENTIRE experience of life.

You know that person on the outside?

That’s who you choose to be.

I don’t have to point out to you that most of your life…

In fact, perhaps nearly all of your life, who you’re being outside can be different to inside.

The person you’re “playing” might not be how you feel.

Things that you say to people are edited.

You’re rarely, basically never, sharing your inner thoughts.

But package them in a way that you’re comfortable saying and others are comfortable hearing.

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Upgrade YOU: The 9 Module Video Program Here In One Post

Hi there,

This was a FREE video program that i shared with our audience by email and in articles.

Upgrade YOU was such a hit that we wanted to find a way to bring it together so that someone else like you could easily go back in time and do it too.

The best way we could think to do this is to link all of the articles here so you can easily and quick move your way through this transformational program.

This way you will get the entire experience of Upgrade YOU:

You’ll see what I wrote about why this topic matters (3-4 articles for each of the 9 videos)
You can watch the video and hear me talk about these topics in quite some detail (9 videos)
You’ll have a practice in each of these 9 videos that you can do with me too

I’m sharing this with you because Upgrades have been of limitless value to me, and my clients.

And I know if you follow what we do together in this FREE program it can be of limitless value to you too:

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Where do we REALLY get stuck?

I had a call with someone who’s been reading these articles for years.

She said, “I really love what you’re doing on Upgrade YOU.”

And then it came…

“But, I’m having some trouble putting it to work.”

For a few minutes we went around in circles talking about her upgrade.

And then I saw…

It’s my fault

I see it now.

I’ve been TRYING to give you the solutions.

Not the usual airy fairy stuff that people tend to talk about on these topics.

The actual solutions I’ve built for myself over 21 years.

And what I actually do to drive results with clients.

But it FAILS.

From calls like this I’ve seen I’m failing to convey it in a way that best serves you.

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Upgrade YOU 3.3. 74 times a day we do this, and it massively holds you back

On average we check email 74 times a day.

When you look at that number, what does it make you think?

Is it high to you?

About right?

Low?

Because in a 16 hour day, this means ONLY checking email every 12 minutes.

Ding, ding human…

Does the story of Ivan Pavlov ring a bell?

You might be familiar with how he conditioned his dogs to salivate at the sound of a ringing bell.

But do you know why this works so well?

And how it works exactly the same in you and me?

Of course you do!

Because you might be doing it all the time too.

Jumping to a dinging phone, responding to notifications, half the day working for your device, rather than it working for you.

It costs you a ton of time and effectiveness.

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Upgrade YOU 3.3. Keep riding the bull

A private equity founder shared this story from a portfolio company CEO.

Now, this client is an entrepreneur.

A founder. Builder.

He’s been surrounded by top business builders all his life.

And this idea is from one of them.

A guy with a special and meaningful story.

Who sold the business he founded in his kitchen for nearly a billion dollars.

“From the outside…”

He says, “Building a business is like riding a bull.”

Someone watching might be dazzled.

The way they ride that bucking animal can look magical.

Even effortless, as they flow with the movement.

“Yet to the bull rider,” he says, “You don’t have a choice.”

You’re strapped onto this thing!

Whether you’re gonna get thrown or ride to victory, you’re hanging on for dear life.

Failing means major disappointment.

And also potentially being impaled!

So you keep riding.