Since they failed to beat Trump in the election, the Dems have put in all the stops.
With a name like Democrats one might presume they believe in democracy, but all they’ve done is resist the president the country elected.
I’m not saying he’s irresistible…
There’s plenty about him that’s resist-worthy.
All I’m saying is…
If they could win an election…
Maybe if they listen to my Masterclass on Combating Trump…
We Wouldn’t Be Risking Civil War
We wouldn’t be experiencing the grotesque political games that threaten the democracy.
Maybe Mueller’s deep probe will reveal something that every Cold War movie implied but even Cohen denied…
Quick, hide from your Facebook, the Russians are coming. 🙂
Maybe dragging Trump’s lawyer in front of Congress and airing his dirties will achieve their goal of bringing him down.
It’s certainly bringing the country down, but will unlikely even stain Trump.
And, even if they did, how do they expect the half of the country that doesn’t buy the New York Times respond?
You know, the ones with all the guns…
Almost certainly Trump will go on, and then, in 2020, the Dems will get their chance to…
Lose Again
We’ve heard lots of excuses for why Hillary lost, but the only factual one is that she was beat by a better combatant.
Not being political, just factual.
Her one-eyed fans don’t want to see it.
Point out the obvious that she ran a mediocre campaign—Awful slogans. Weak messaging. Zero skills of influence—and the anti-bullying bullies bully in force.
Anyone with one eye can see Hillary could and should have won.
But like the 16 Republicans Trump thrashed, what did she learn from losing to Barack?
I stopped writing articles because I know we need more.
I don’t do this because I enjoy ranting about doing what you want but because it’s my mission to share the solutions I wish someone had handed me.
And over time I came to see that writing about complex topics was of little value to you and me.
We both deserve more 🙂
Actual Solutions
In the last few months I stepped back and asked how I can deliver to you the types of solutions I needed and build for my clients.
- Not Articles. Doing this work for myself I never read one blog post nor newsletter, and I and still don’t…
- Not podcasts. Podcasts are divertissement, some masquerading as learning. I never burn time on them, and saw even less value creating them.
I wanted to create for you actual solutions.
Which led me to the idea of real deep learning in the format of audio Masterclasses.
You’ll see three on this page—Combating Trump, What Do I Want?—and the one I’m writing about here….
Love this from retired SEAL, Goggins.
Whatever you are going through, use it to get stronger.
In fact, seek out shit that forces you to get stronger.
Steel is forged, hardened, by heat and being beaten against an anvil.
To become your greatest get yourself an anvil…
I’m no longer making time to write here, but I did make time to post this word of the day.
Whatever you want.
Whatever you are doing.
Bring more mettlesome.
You’ve got this!
If you’d asked me 10 years ago I wouldn’t have said this…
But, over the years it’s become obvious that the most important skill in all business is…
Selling.
If you doubt it, try running a company without any revenues.
Employees. Rainmakers. Business Builders.
All of us all the time are being sold and selling.
To win as an employee, at the least you must be good at selling yourself inside your firm.
In most jobs, it’s the most important thing to driving your business too.
If you’re a business builder, your job is selling employees, customers, vendors, everyone…
Yet, because many of us think we already know what selling is, few people train.
e.g. What leads someone to buy? Smart-sounding ideas is the norm, but none of us buy logic. Need a new iPhone already?
e.g. How specifically do you clear an objection? Mitigating factors and counter-arguments are the tried and true approach for amateurs but pros play differently.
This 65 page research report on capital raising is selling in a specific context, but the method fits all contexts.
We were told some of you had trouble downloading the report, so we put it here where you can access it directly.
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
There are a handful of things that even many highly successful people are fearful about and amateur at doing.
Public speaking is often talked about, but one that haunts us daily is our fear of selling.
All day every day we’re “selling” ourselves and our ideas, but even many who sell for a living lack the skills they need to do it well, let alone confidently.
Fearful being “salesy.” Fearful asking for the order. Fearful hearing no. Fearful being rejected. Fearful facing objections…
I asked my friend.
“About a 6.”
We agreed to do some work.
Every minute we can choose whether we settle for something less or bring the…
Hells Yeah
He is a happy enthusiastic fellow building a great business.
He wakes up energized, gets focused on great stuff, powers through his day.
He loves what he does, but it’s far from easy.
Back to back days.
Lots of responsibility. An organization to manage. Business to build.
He’s constantly stretching. It takes a toll.
Most days he feels good. Some days he feels great. Every day we want him to feel more hells yeah.
“Positive Thinking” Is A Low Bar
This fancy chart I marked up captures where I’m coming from.
The thermometer on the left is “normal” human thinking,
As I write about often, it’s not our fault, our brains and world are built with a negativity bias, so it’s easy to get stuck here.
Think positive can be an atlas-worthy goal but that’s not all we aspire to, is it?
If you’re serious about developing yourself you already know the hardest part.
You’ve gotten clear on what ways you want to transform.
You know exactly how you’re doing it.
But, damn, it can be hard to get yourself to do it, right?
How Do You Actually Do It?
A client is focused on being an “Enhanced” version of himself.
Akin to the movie Limitless, he has two ways of being.
“Regular” he walks, talks, thinks, be’s a certain way.
Regular is good, in fact, regular is very good because he’s already spent years developing himself he’s very much the man he wants to be.
But Enhanced is a level beyond.
Here he’s unstoppable. Nothing phases him. Worries him. He’s never short on confidence or belief or the will to keep creating his dream life.
Over years he’s modeled the “Enhanced Character.”
He knows exactly how he wants to be but as we discussed last night, he’s still not good enough at being it.
It’s All Good
I told him.
What he’s doing is positively herculean.
Few people ever change.
You meet them 10 years later and they are more or less the same person, walking, talking, being the same way.
Our brains are set up for consistency.
They revert back to our Regular / habituated / conditioned thoughts and behaviors, which changing can take a massive amount of personal power.
Power Isn’t Enough
Grrrrrrrr I heard the guy at the gym screaming as he was putting up a big weight.
It’s not enough. Power can only take you so far.
So too can motivation. It might get you to want to change, but really, truly making transformational change takes a lot more than desire.
Or will.
Like developing a business, it takes a disciplined approach that you put to work every day, possibly for years, decades, a lifetime.
Grandad hunted Nazis for a living.
Hitler didn’t give him a chance to do what he wanted.
He dropped behind enemy lines to save us from a monster.
We can never repay our debts to the greatest generations, but we can do more for veterans today.
Veterans Have Lives Ahead
When I was a kid veterans were the tough old war dogs who could still make it to the annual parade.
War felt like pageantry.
I never knew Grandad, or anyone in the military. It felt like looking back to a brutal world left behind.
Today I see veterans all around, many a generation younger than me, with young families and lives ahead.
At best war leaves scars, and many veterans struggle to get their lives back on track.
Some have troubled minds. Others need guidance in getting a job, building a business, or otherwise righting the ship.
I used to want to help.
Veterans Don’t Want “Help”
No veteran I’ve met wants help.
They are strong women, and men’s men.
Warriors.
Who put their life on the line for the rest of us.
The last thing they want is “help,” but they often appreciate support in helping themselves.
“Have you read Think and Grow Rich?” he asked.
“That’s a reason I’m still pissed at my parents and teachers,” he said.
Laughing out loud I asked what he meant.
“When I discovered that book,” he told me “it changed my life so much that I was frustrated nobody had told me to read it sooner.”
“It’s not their fault,” I responded to this fellow I had met at a book signing, “the secret of the mind is hidden from most of us.”
No-One “Needs” Personal Development
But we all should want it.
I didn’t “need” to read Think and Grow Rich, any self-help books, any blog, or listen to any so-called experts to elevate my life from working in factories to Goldman Sachs.
“Success” was easy for me, merely a matter of working 80+ hour workweeks in high school and university.
I’m blessed with a good memory for ROTE learning and the will to work 7 days a week forever.
But that’s hardly a worthy secret of success.
Sure, this approach got me to Goldman Sachs, yet only a few years later asking myself “What am I doing with my life?” I wanted far better answers.
The paradigms for success that our society promotes—e.g. hard work, sacrifice—are down-right painful and mostly miserable!
When anyone who explores development quickly finds better ways.
The Hidden Power Of The Mind
“Indeed thoughts are things,” is how Napoleon Hill opens his book.
The best-selling self-help book in history with over 100 million copies sold is cited, quoted, and ripped off by many so-called experts.
Although it’s implied in the title, the book isn’t about making money.
But about creating a rich life through unlocking the secret of the mind.
This hidden secret of the mind might be the greatest secret of this game of life…
And those of us who are “pro gamers” spend our lives hunting the keys.
What’s more human than progress?
No matter how far we’ve come, there’s something inside that keeps us striving to the next level.
What is this for you?
What does it take for you reach it?
What do you need when you get there?
A Hard Thing…
About reaching the next level is that, by definition, it requires something beyond this level.
Whether it’s taking your career/business to another level, getting in better shape, getting more skilled, or any other goal requires something beyond where we are now.
In gaming, leveling up requires navigating your current level, collecting keys, earning points, overcoming an ordeal, whatever it is demands you collect what you need before ascending.
This test determines if you’re qualified to pass, and also ensures you have what you need to succeed at a higher level.
When a hike turns into technical climb it’s too late to turn around and go get your rope.
To pass to the next level you must be ready when you arrive.
Acting As-If, We Fail
In our careers it’s natural to think we get promoted when we’re successful, but in fact we get promoted to test if we can succeed at a higher level.
An NFL player doesn’t succeed by playing college ball.
We can be fooled into chicken and egg thinking that when we make it to the next level we’ll step up our game, but by definition we step up to be here.
This isn’t only having the capabilities we need to succeed, but also the self-image.
As was perhaps best put by Maxwell Maltz some 70 years ago, we only achieve goals that are consistent with who we perceive ourselves to be.
And to reach the next level we must not only become this person, we must be them now.
Acting as if, we fail.
Daniel Craig does a nice job acting as a cold killer, but you’d hardly want him covering your six in a gunfight.
To reach that next level, we can’t fake it till we make it, we must make it now to take it there.
Popeye is a weakling relative to most of us.
He has to pop a can of spinach to grow his muscles, but we have our worry muscles pumped ready to go.
The best feedback I’ve received this year from anything I’ve written was in response to Winning Like A Loser.
Wake up stressed. Fill your mind with overwhelm. Worry about everything. Go to bed at night feeling like you failed to get it done and looking forward to losing another day…
Plenty of people told me that they were ROFL reading it, before going on to tell me how much it resembled their days…
No Laughing Matter
Writing about the insane way we’ve been conditioned to live I was laughing all the way to the publish, but I was also shining a light on something serious.
Because I’ve spent decades ridding my head of the human condition I can never go back to “not-living” that way, but for plenty of years I did.
Back then I didn’t see a problem with it.
It was “normal” to wake up whining about my job (just talk to many people, even at Goldman Sachs), confused what my life was about, terrified it wouldn’t work out as I dreamed, worried about the utter lunacy of the world.
If you’d asked me I would have told you I was completely justified living that way, “it’s just how it is,” I would have said I was “happy,” but now I’d rather be the walking dead.
As I wrote about here, for most of my life I believed that when I was doing what I want I would feel amazing, but now I know we only feel as amazing as we train ourselves to feel.
Creatures of Habit
You have a standard routine for dressing in the morning. Maybe underwear first—not you, P—then socks, perhaps your pants or skirt before.
No matter your “process,” I know every time it’s the same.
You shower and brush in the same sequence too, because just about everything we do is habit.
And while this serves us in many ways—e.g. you don’t have to figure out whether your socks go on before your shoes—our habits of thinking tend to punish us the other way.
The data is astounding—each day we have somewhere around 60,000 thoughts, of which some 90% are redundant and 80% are negative.
It’s sad, but when you consider the nature of the human predicament, it’s obvious why it’s true.
We’re not built for happiness, but survival. Our brains aren’t set up to wander through predator-infested territory smelling the roses but to fixate on what might eat us.
Biologically we’re built with a negativity bias, and we live in a predatory society that feeds on our fears, which ensures many of us are world-class worriers.
To A Man With A Hammer…
His hands are often beaten.
And to a mind that has been feeding on worry, and developed a Popeye-sized worry muscle, there’s always something more to worry about.
See, the problem with muscles is that once you’ve built them you’ve gotta feed them, and indeed mental muscles do a nice job of feeding themselves.
And this means even if there’s nothing “real” in our life to fear—e.g. unlike our ancestors, no Neanderthals are predating us—the brain will find plenty of fake fear to binge on.
Sadly this means, once you’ve built these muscles, it’s near impossible to be happy, other than pretending to be happily-worried all the time.
Us humans are facing an ever-growing health crisis.
All the time you see headlines like World Faces Staggering Obesity Challenge, yet where does this get us?
People are getting fatter and fatter. They are dying of preventable illness.
Their quality of life is significantly diminished by the way they look and feel and as a society what do we do for them?
We Shame Fat
It’s only in recent years that companies like Dove, with its Real Beauty campaign. And plus-size models like Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday have made it socially acceptable to not look like Kate Moss.
Yet even recently, when Cosmo put Tess on its cover, she was forced to defend herself from shamers… Beautifully telling them “Not to worry about my fat ass…”
Of course our definition of beauty is skewed towards tall, strong, chiseled, handsome men, and thin women, yet we all know that’s not what we are.
We are “normal.” Some of us are taller, fatter, skinnier, smarter, dumber, sexier, geekier than others…
And that’s all good. Our society measures us using the same stick, yet that ugly stick beats many of us down.
Einstein wrote, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
We all come from a different mold, and what matters most is that we are good with who we are.
The next best feedback you can ever give someone is, Keep doing what you’re doing.
Even if they’re doing a terrible job, you’ll avoid conflict and also ensure they won’t get so good that they outshine you.
Although some people pretend to want honest feedback, you know nobody wants to hear the truth, let alone improve, so just get their tail wagging with a pat on the head and keep doing what you’re doing.
Just like in school, a couple check marks and not getting held back each year is all any human ever wants, why encourage anyone to get better?
Improving Leads To Failure
Improving is for people who can’t work hard enough to keep doing what they’re doing.
Like Rafael Nadal, of course it’s true that people who keep getting better tend to win more, but they also only keep getting promoted to the point where other people fail.
The Peter Principle demands that you must be good enough to keep getting promoted, but not so good that you actually excel.
As one of my favorite book titles states, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, and keep doing what you’re doing is the surest way to avoid succeeding to ultimately fail.
Head Down Hit It Hard
It’s scary to drive and you’re much better off just keeping your head down.
Maybe you could avoid that wall you’ll eventually hit, but with your head down driving hard you might even punch through concrete.
Some people say, pick your head up, set goals.
What the hell do they know? Once you’ve set goals, now you’re on the hook, you likely have to get better, and that will only lead you to fail more successfully anyways.
As I wrote here, no good loser wins that way. Who cares where you’re headed…
I’m starting a podcast interviewing entrepreneurs, VCs, PEs, and others who have built winning businesses.
Doing so we blasted a big list, which included serial entrepreneur and angel investor, Ted Rheingold.
I didn’t know Ted and didn’t know he died a year ago, but his auto-response still deeply touched me more than many humans who claim to still be alive.
His message asks us to “keep these very important messages in place,” so I’m passing it on.
It’ unlikely I’ll able to get back to you
Was the subject line. He went on to write:
My cancer (ccRCC, metastic) has gotten the upper hand and I’ll be putting all my resources into managing it.
In my stread, please keep these very important messages in place:
* be good to each other
* enjoy evert day
* wanting is suffering
* The journey is still the destination, now more than every
* the trend of purpose is coming like a tidal wave, get out a heard of
it. enjoy the ride. die fulfilled.
* Reframe your thinking of “what your career can do for you,” into
“what can your career do for others,” and wonderful, meaningful work
awaits you.
The best way to win is through brute force.
Everyone knows that hustle is the secret to winning, and that demands that you never have a minute you’re not ferreting away.
Most people are far too lazy for this approach.
Some people are just too stupid to run themselves ragged chasing success, but those who are truly ambitious know exactly how to win.
Wake Up Stressed
As soon as you wake up you must get yourself fired up.
And we all know that the absolute best way to motivate yourself is with fear.
Immediately, as soon as you wake up, you want to start thinking about EVERYTHING that you need to get done today.
The best “hack” for getting your anxiety started is to keep your phone by your bed so that within 30 seconds of waking you can check your email.
Of course if you’re serious about winning, you never want to let that anxiety get away from you while lazy people are sleeping, so keep your phone dinging all night.
The most insightful question we should all ask ourselves is, “What keeps you awake at night?”
And then every night before going to bed you want to fill your mind with those things so your brain will keep waking you up to hustle.
It might seem small but just waking up a few times through the night to check your email can make a massive difference. People will know how much you hustle, you’ll feel like you’re all over it, and with just a few thousand sleepless nights you’ll be crushing it.
Now you’ve got your nights sorted and are waking up with the right terror, you want to drive your day the same way.
Start Your Day With Overwhelm
If you’re serious about success, after you check your email, you want to start filling your mind with all the ways that you might fail, and especially, all the things that might go wrong today.
Instead of paying attention to your spouse, kids, pets, or others you love, you want to be fully in your head thinking about all those things that are happening elsewhere.
A great way to keep building up your fear and overwhelm is to tune into the news, and of course start scrolling through social media, paying careful attention to all the bad things that are going on that have zero impact on you, and you have zero control.
By far Twitter is the best.
It’s only soundbites, so you can easily scroll through thousands of brain farts and overwhelm yourself with noise in just a few minutes.
Once again, if you’re truly ambitious, you’ve been doing this throughout the night, but for those of you who aren’t as committed, there’s still plenty of time to build enough overwhelm to start your day.
I’m Done.
When I sat back and read last week’s newsletter I felt this feeling wash over me.
Most my life I’ve been baffled by what we are and how we live, and I’ve solved it, at least to satisfactory answers for me.
I know it sounds lofty or arrogant or nutso to say “I’ve figured out life” and of course I hope there’s plenty left to learn…
But, truth is, I found the three (one redacted…) SIMPLE answers that I’ve spent my entire adult life obsessively seeking.
1. How Do You Create The Life You Truly Want?
This is the most fundamental mystery of our lives…
When it should be the most basic, obvious, and teachable skill of being human.
Left to figure it out on our own few of us do. 5+ billion of us live in abject poverty, at best most of us live and die a life that was good enough, with few of us truly living our dream.
How on earth could we when nobody teaches us how?
With our heads stuffed full of information masquerading as learning, none of us are given even the slightest hint on how to make our way through this world.
Bombarded by a world of noise most of us struggle just to make it through our days, let alone chart our ideal course.
I bleed for humanity. Since I was a child I’ve felt an unshakable sadness and unwavering fight that so many of us are forced to settle for so little.
From about age 11 this has been my focus, and since 2000, more or less, my sole focus.
I ONLY ever wanted to live the most amazing life I can imagine, and I spent a good 20 years obsessed with how you do it.
Here I give away the answer for a fraction of the cost of wasting your life watching Netflix, but I’m done with trying too hard getting people to read…
A buddy told me that in writing about my most amazing discovery on feeling how you want, I alluded to an uber secret to happiness and then dropped the mic and walked off stage.
It’s somewhat true…
In some ways my work is done. I’ve spent the better part of 20 years obsessively seeking answers to 3 life questions and this was the final piece.
The answer to feeling amazing at will, The Ultimate Solution, is so SUPER SIMPLE, and laughably ludicrous, yet it’s not easy to unpack, even with my clients who are deep on these topics.
That’s because it requires you to “out evolve” our most fundamental biological and social conditioning.
This Doesn’t Cause That
Poor baby is crying because she’s got a dirty diaper.
Notice what the “because” does to that sentence…
It rationalizes feeling crap. It makes sense to kick and scream because of a dirty diaper, right?
Wrong. That’s the problem.
At our most basic level we’re conditioned to believe that not getting/doing what we want is cause for us to “feel worse,” and satisfying our wants is cause for us to feel better.
Of course I’m not suggesting that we should leave baby in a soiled diaper to teach it to feel good irrespective of conditions, I’m merely highlighting how this pattern gets conditioned throughout our lives.
A few years later a bigger baby doesn’t get the ice cream it wants and throws a tantrum. Or is begging for a new toy that will absolutely satisfy it… until it’s crying for the next.
20 years later the even bigger baby is upset because they didn’t get the new sweater in mauve or is so desperately seeking that partner to feel complete.
It’s true that biologically we move away from what we don’t want and towards what we do, but that’s different to growing up believing this is the cause of how we feel.
Why Are You So Happy?
Hidden inside that seemingly innocent question is the cause of much misery in our world.
Why do we need a “because” to feel happy? Why do we need a cause, instead of being happy for no reason? (because many people are unhappy blaming some reason)
I recently saw a quote from a double amputee that said something like, “People ask me how I can be so positive without my legs, I ask them how they can be so negative with theirs.”
Do you see what’s implied? That having legs “should” cause you to be happy, and having them removed should cause misery.
Now, I’m not suggesting that we should be indifferent to having our legs cut off but I am pointing out that if legs were the cause of happiness we wouldn’t live in a Prozac world.
Because it relies on this flawed cause and effect thinking, nearly all of the research on happiness is wrong.