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What do you truly want?
What is the most amazing life you can imagine?
Are you going for it?
What holds you back?
How Do You Leap Forward?
I don’t know why this became my life.
But I do know exactly how.
I really liked my job at Goldman but I felt there was something I needed to keep exploring.
From where I started in life Wall Street was a huge leap, but my brain wouldn’t let me rest there.
I needed to keep leaping.
Into The Unknown
If I know the answer I’m already bored.
Stepping back and asking my question—What Do I Want?—I had no idea where it would lead me.
It was easy to stay in a job I liked and make good money, but if you don’t leap into the unknown what might you not find?
Who might you not become?
I saw in Vermont they elected this goat, Lincoln, as Mayor.
Unclear by his name if he’s a Democrat but he certainly has a much better chance than most the 2020 candidates.
I enjoy a fun fight and I’m really looking forward to the Democratic primaries.
It’s going to be hilarious to watch them try to out-PC, out-left each other.
And, then, when they figure that’s a losing strategy…
Eat Each Other
They’ll start off all nice like their anti-bullying bullying, but soon the field will descend into attack politics.
Like Bernie and Hillary, they’re all playing nice until they’re not.
Recognizing they fail by playing Mr. / Mrs. / Non-binary Good Guys / Gals / Them they’ll start chewing away at each other.
I’m thinking at least we wouldn’t have to listen to the goat poorly attack his rivals.
The only thing it would eat is the stage and perhaps gnaw away at a pant-leg here and there.
And certainly Lincoln might also have a chance against Trump.
Whenever I talk about negative thinking I need a good bath to wash it off.
You can never ignore this elephant dung in the room…
But you also never want to get stuck in it.
As I talk about in the track below, like cleaning out a wound it’s necessary to clear out limited thinking, yet limitless thinking is better and better.
Driving Limitless Thinking
It’s bizarre that in our world positive thinking is a “thing.”
Why amazing thinking isn’t the default in our brains and world is beyond us, yet we can choose.
For some people it’s easy to choose amazing, but for many of us it can take training.
Yet, because the brain basically cycles the same thoughts every day…
Once you get it thinking more limitless, it keeps driving more this way.
The Greatest Discovery
“The greatest discovery of my generation,” William James, who died in 1910, said, “is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”
It’s a nice-sounding quote, but 100+ years later, how many of us are trained to actually live this way?
This is the greatest discovery of my life—
How you actually live it.
It’s not about knowing you can alter your attitude.
Or even choosing to do it…
Like getting in the best shape of your life at the gym, you want a training program to deeply condition yourself this way.
Another Shooting…
I no longer indulge it.
I don’t even know how to talk to people about it anymore.
Different shooting, all the same nonsense.
Another lunatic’s version of reality forced upon the rest of us.
Another media cycle, milking murder for the all the ratings it can get.
More politicians using it to push more of their agenda.
More Victims, More Blame
Who do we not blame?
Football fans hate on each other as much as Democrats and Republicans as much as this holy war that has raged for centuries.
One man killing a bunch of innocent people a microcosm of the game of hate our god-loving Churches and States—Islamic States, included—play on a grander scale.
Blame the gun laws. Blame mental health. Blame parenting. Any donkey we can pin it on.
Video games that taught him to shoot, and helped him direct his POV-style game. Social media that gives him what many teenage girls want, fame.
Our celebrities for acting out their nightly murder for entertainment.
Someone asked me if I’m laughing at the miserable Chamath the Destroyer how do I feel about parents bribing their kids into school.
Well, of course I find it just as funny, and unsurprising.
Rich and famous people can buy near anything in our world, and anyone who thinks the school system is above bribery hasn’t noticed what “gifting” a building will do…
And I can understand where they’re coming from.
Everyone Wants Their Kids To Win
One of the hardest things for parents is feeling helpless they can’t do more for their kids.
How do you help your kids win in this rapidly changing modern world?
School has become more competitive than the Olympics so it’s not surprising parents would follow the example of Tonya Harding and bust a rule or two.
Of course we know helping your kids achieve something they fail to earn doesn’t help them in the long-run, but it heavily reduces the burden of actually being a parent…
And what more can you do?
Um, Teach Them To Win
Nobody teaches us to win in life.
Even in school which has a very obvious method for winning—a process for studying—and even more obvious winning skills—e.g. focus, speed reading, memory techniques—nobody teaches us how to win.
Instead we’re taught that life is a battlefield on which brute force wins—put your head down, work hard, sacrifice, give it all you’ve got…
Ugh, near everyone on this planet loses that way.
Love this from retired SEAL, Goggins.
Whatever you are going through, use it to get stronger.
In fact, seek out shit that forces you to get stronger.
Steel is forged, hardened, by heat and being beaten against an anvil.
To become your greatest get yourself an anvil…
I’m no longer making time to write here, but I did make time to post this word of the day.
Whatever you want.
Whatever you are doing.
Bring more mettlesome.
You’ve got this!
If you’d asked me 10 years ago I wouldn’t have said this…
But, over the years it’s become obvious that the most important skill in all business is…
Selling.
If you doubt it, try running a company without any revenues.
Employees. Rainmakers. Business Builders.
All of us all the time are being sold and selling.
To win as an employee, at the least you must be good at selling yourself inside your firm.
In most jobs, it’s the most important thing to driving your business too.
If you’re a business builder, your job is selling employees, customers, vendors, everyone…
Yet, because many of us think we already know what selling is, few people train.
e.g. What leads someone to buy? Smart-sounding ideas is the norm, but none of us buy logic. Need a new iPhone already?
e.g. How specifically do you clear an objection? Mitigating factors and counter-arguments are the tried and true approach for amateurs but pros play differently.
This 65 page research report on capital raising is selling in a specific context, but the method fits all contexts.
We were told some of you had trouble downloading the report, so we put it here where you can access it directly.
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
I asked my friend.
“About a 6.”
We agreed to do some work.
Every minute we can choose whether we settle for something less or bring the…
Hells Yeah
He is a happy enthusiastic fellow building a great business.
He wakes up energized, gets focused on great stuff, powers through his day.
He loves what he does, but it’s far from easy.
Back to back days.
Lots of responsibility. An organization to manage. Business to build.
He’s constantly stretching. It takes a toll.
Most days he feels good. Some days he feels great. Every day we want him to feel more hells yeah.
“Positive Thinking” Is A Low Bar
This fancy chart I marked up captures where I’m coming from.
The thermometer on the left is “normal” human thinking,
As I write about often, it’s not our fault, our brains and world are built with a negativity bias, so it’s easy to get stuck here.
Think positive can be an atlas-worthy goal but that’s not all we aspire to, is it?
If you’re serious about developing yourself you already know the hardest part.
You’ve gotten clear on what ways you want to transform.
You know exactly how you’re doing it.
But, damn, it can be hard to get yourself to do it, right?
How Do You Actually Do It?
A client is focused on being an “Enhanced” version of himself.
Akin to the movie Limitless, he has two ways of being.
“Regular” he walks, talks, thinks, be’s a certain way.
Regular is good, in fact, regular is very good because he’s already spent years developing himself he’s very much the man he wants to be.
But Enhanced is a level beyond.
Here he’s unstoppable. Nothing phases him. Worries him. He’s never short on confidence or belief or the will to keep creating his dream life.
Over years he’s modeled the “Enhanced Character.”
He knows exactly how he wants to be but as we discussed last night, he’s still not good enough at being it.
It’s All Good
I told him.
What he’s doing is positively herculean.
Few people ever change.
You meet them 10 years later and they are more or less the same person, walking, talking, being the same way.
Our brains are set up for consistency.
They revert back to our Regular / habituated / conditioned thoughts and behaviors, which changing can take a massive amount of personal power.
Power Isn’t Enough
Grrrrrrrr I heard the guy at the gym screaming as he was putting up a big weight.
It’s not enough. Power can only take you so far.
So too can motivation. It might get you to want to change, but really, truly making transformational change takes a lot more than desire.
Or will.
Like developing a business, it takes a disciplined approach that you put to work every day, possibly for years, decades, a lifetime.
Grandad hunted Nazis for a living.
Hitler didn’t give him a chance to do what he wanted.
He dropped behind enemy lines to save us from a monster.
We can never repay our debts to the greatest generations, but we can do more for veterans today.
Veterans Have Lives Ahead
When I was a kid veterans were the tough old war dogs who could still make it to the annual parade.
War felt like pageantry.
I never knew Grandad, or anyone in the military. It felt like looking back to a brutal world left behind.
Today I see veterans all around, many a generation younger than me, with young families and lives ahead.
At best war leaves scars, and many veterans struggle to get their lives back on track.
Some have troubled minds. Others need guidance in getting a job, building a business, or otherwise righting the ship.
I used to want to help.
Veterans Don’t Want “Help”
No veteran I’ve met wants help.
They are strong women, and men’s men.
Warriors.
Who put their life on the line for the rest of us.
The last thing they want is “help,” but they often appreciate support in helping themselves.
“Have you read Think and Grow Rich?” he asked.
“That’s a reason I’m still pissed at my parents and teachers,” he said.
Laughing out loud I asked what he meant.
“When I discovered that book,” he told me “it changed my life so much that I was frustrated nobody had told me to read it sooner.”
“It’s not their fault,” I responded to this fellow I had met at a book signing, “the secret of the mind is hidden from most of us.”
No-One “Needs” Personal Development
But we all should want it.
I didn’t “need” to read Think and Grow Rich, any self-help books, any blog, or listen to any so-called experts to elevate my life from working in factories to Goldman Sachs.
“Success” was easy for me, merely a matter of working 80+ hour workweeks in high school and university.
I’m blessed with a good memory for ROTE learning and the will to work 7 days a week forever.
But that’s hardly a worthy secret of success.
Sure, this approach got me to Goldman Sachs, yet only a few years later asking myself “What am I doing with my life?” I wanted far better answers.
The paradigms for success that our society promotes—e.g. hard work, sacrifice—are down-right painful and mostly miserable!
When anyone who explores development quickly finds better ways.
The Hidden Power Of The Mind
“Indeed thoughts are things,” is how Napoleon Hill opens his book.
The best-selling self-help book in history with over 100 million copies sold is cited, quoted, and ripped off by many so-called experts.
Although it’s implied in the title, the book isn’t about making money.
But about creating a rich life through unlocking the secret of the mind.
This hidden secret of the mind might be the greatest secret of this game of life…
And those of us who are “pro gamers” spend our lives hunting the keys.
What’s more human than progress?
No matter how far we’ve come, there’s something inside that keeps us striving to the next level.
What is this for you?
What does it take for you reach it?
What do you need when you get there?
A Hard Thing…
About reaching the next level is that, by definition, it requires something beyond this level.
Whether it’s taking your career/business to another level, getting in better shape, getting more skilled, or any other goal requires something beyond where we are now.
In gaming, leveling up requires navigating your current level, collecting keys, earning points, overcoming an ordeal, whatever it is demands you collect what you need before ascending.
This test determines if you’re qualified to pass, and also ensures you have what you need to succeed at a higher level.
When a hike turns into technical climb it’s too late to turn around and go get your rope.
To pass to the next level you must be ready when you arrive.
Acting As-If, We Fail
In our careers it’s natural to think we get promoted when we’re successful, but in fact we get promoted to test if we can succeed at a higher level.
An NFL player doesn’t succeed by playing college ball.
We can be fooled into chicken and egg thinking that when we make it to the next level we’ll step up our game, but by definition we step up to be here.
This isn’t only having the capabilities we need to succeed, but also the self-image.
As was perhaps best put by Maxwell Maltz some 70 years ago, we only achieve goals that are consistent with who we perceive ourselves to be.
And to reach the next level we must not only become this person, we must be them now.
Acting as if, we fail.
Daniel Craig does a nice job acting as a cold killer, but you’d hardly want him covering your six in a gunfight.
To reach that next level, we can’t fake it till we make it, we must make it now to take it there.
Popeye is a weakling relative to most of us.
He has to pop a can of spinach to grow his muscles, but we have our worry muscles pumped ready to go.
The best feedback I’ve received this year from anything I’ve written was in response to Winning Like A Loser.
Wake up stressed. Fill your mind with overwhelm. Worry about everything. Go to bed at night feeling like you failed to get it done and looking forward to losing another day…
Plenty of people told me that they were ROFL reading it, before going on to tell me how much it resembled their days…
No Laughing Matter
Writing about the insane way we’ve been conditioned to live I was laughing all the way to the publish, but I was also shining a light on something serious.
Because I’ve spent decades ridding my head of the human condition I can never go back to “not-living” that way, but for plenty of years I did.
Back then I didn’t see a problem with it.
It was “normal” to wake up whining about my job (just talk to many people, even at Goldman Sachs), confused what my life was about, terrified it wouldn’t work out as I dreamed, worried about the utter lunacy of the world.
If you’d asked me I would have told you I was completely justified living that way, “it’s just how it is,” I would have said I was “happy,” but now I’d rather be the walking dead.
As I wrote about here, for most of my life I believed that when I was doing what I want I would feel amazing, but now I know we only feel as amazing as we train ourselves to feel.
Creatures of Habit
You have a standard routine for dressing in the morning. Maybe underwear first—not you, P—then socks, perhaps your pants or skirt before.
No matter your “process,” I know every time it’s the same.
You shower and brush in the same sequence too, because just about everything we do is habit.
And while this serves us in many ways—e.g. you don’t have to figure out whether your socks go on before your shoes—our habits of thinking tend to punish us the other way.
The data is astounding—each day we have somewhere around 60,000 thoughts, of which some 90% are redundant and 80% are negative.
It’s sad, but when you consider the nature of the human predicament, it’s obvious why it’s true.
We’re not built for happiness, but survival. Our brains aren’t set up to wander through predator-infested territory smelling the roses but to fixate on what might eat us.
Biologically we’re built with a negativity bias, and we live in a predatory society that feeds on our fears, which ensures many of us are world-class worriers.
To A Man With A Hammer…
His hands are often beaten.
And to a mind that has been feeding on worry, and developed a Popeye-sized worry muscle, there’s always something more to worry about.
See, the problem with muscles is that once you’ve built them you’ve gotta feed them, and indeed mental muscles do a nice job of feeding themselves.
And this means even if there’s nothing “real” in our life to fear—e.g. unlike our ancestors, no Neanderthals are predating us—the brain will find plenty of fake fear to binge on.
Sadly this means, once you’ve built these muscles, it’s near impossible to be happy, other than pretending to be happily-worried all the time.
Us humans are facing an ever-growing health crisis.
All the time you see headlines like World Faces Staggering Obesity Challenge, yet where does this get us?
People are getting fatter and fatter. They are dying of preventable illness.
Their quality of life is significantly diminished by the way they look and feel and as a society what do we do for them?
We Shame Fat
It’s only in recent years that companies like Dove, with its Real Beauty campaign. And plus-size models like Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday have made it socially acceptable to not look like Kate Moss.
Yet even recently, when Cosmo put Tess on its cover, she was forced to defend herself from shamers… Beautifully telling them “Not to worry about my fat ass…”
Of course our definition of beauty is skewed towards tall, strong, chiseled, handsome men, and thin women, yet we all know that’s not what we are.
We are “normal.” Some of us are taller, fatter, skinnier, smarter, dumber, sexier, geekier than others…
And that’s all good. Our society measures us using the same stick, yet that ugly stick beats many of us down.
Einstein wrote, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
We all come from a different mold, and what matters most is that we are good with who we are.
The next best feedback you can ever give someone is, Keep doing what you’re doing.
Even if they’re doing a terrible job, you’ll avoid conflict and also ensure they won’t get so good that they outshine you.
Although some people pretend to want honest feedback, you know nobody wants to hear the truth, let alone improve, so just get their tail wagging with a pat on the head and keep doing what you’re doing.
Just like in school, a couple check marks and not getting held back each year is all any human ever wants, why encourage anyone to get better?
Improving Leads To Failure
Improving is for people who can’t work hard enough to keep doing what they’re doing.
Like Rafael Nadal, of course it’s true that people who keep getting better tend to win more, but they also only keep getting promoted to the point where other people fail.
The Peter Principle demands that you must be good enough to keep getting promoted, but not so good that you actually excel.
As one of my favorite book titles states, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, and keep doing what you’re doing is the surest way to avoid succeeding to ultimately fail.
Head Down Hit It Hard
It’s scary to drive and you’re much better off just keeping your head down.
Maybe you could avoid that wall you’ll eventually hit, but with your head down driving hard you might even punch through concrete.
Some people say, pick your head up, set goals.
What the hell do they know? Once you’ve set goals, now you’re on the hook, you likely have to get better, and that will only lead you to fail more successfully anyways.
As I wrote here, no good loser wins that way. Who cares where you’re headed…