A devastating attack in kickboxing is to glance down at your opponent’s leg while at the same time kicking her in the head.
Where the eyes go so often does your attention.
Women who favor low-cut garb use this to their advantage.
One of my clients has become an expert at using eye contact in meetings.
By establishing firm eye contact right away he asserts himself as someone of confidence and value.
Then throughout the meeting he plays with eye contact in many different ways.
Here’s just two.
To begin with, when the other person is talking he gives them 100% of his attention. With his eyes he is saying to them more than, I am listening and I hear you. He is saying, I deeply understand you.
This in itself is incredibly powerful, yet the real juice is what he’s setting up.
My photographer was telling me that when my eyes water and go a little red that they look more blue because of the principle of contrast. “It is the red that makes the blue pop,” as he put it.
And after having established a pattern of firm eye contact my client then selectively takes advantage of this same principle of contrast.
When the other person is talking about a topic that my client wants to avoid—such as what he likes about my client’s competition—he breaks eye contact and lets his eyes wander around the room.
Quickly the other person learns that some topics get him attention and others don’t.
And with a deep desire to keep feeling heard, he’s likely to keep steering himself to the topics that my client rewards with eye contact.
As you know, ONLY 20% OF COMMUNICATION is the words you use—80% is NON-VERBAL.
Whether you are kicking someone in the head or influencing any other way, the eyes are the window you crack open to get inside.