Goals

Stop Setting New Years Resolutions. Do This Instead.

Anyone who works out regularly dreads this time of year. On January 2nd, gyms around the world are going to be crowded 24/7 with people who made a New Year’s resolution to get a six-pack.

Fortunately, they’ll all be gone in two weeks.

It’s a statistical fact that over 90% of New Year’s resolutions are broken. Any practice that fails over 90% of the time should be abandoned, but people still pretend to stick to it.

There’s a better way to set goals and change your life, it just takes a little work. Let me explain.

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How The Most Successful CEOs Set Goals

The way we set goals in our society makes achieving those goals all but impossible, but it doesn’t have to be.

If you read a lot of the stuff that’s written on goal-setting, it usually contains the same, wrong-headed advice:

Decide where you want to be 10 years from now
Break that goal down into monthly goals
Work towards those, and eventually, you’ll reach your destination

On paper that looks simple, but implementing it can be anything but.

Few people really know where they want to be in 10 years with any degree of specificity and even if they think they do, they’re likely to change their goals along the way. Trying to plan out the next 120 months of your life is an impossible feat and the reason most people simply avoid setting goals.

I’ve worked with some of the most successful CEOs and executives in the world and have created a system for setting goals that actually works. You don’t have to know where you’ll be in 10 years, you just have to know one thing:

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How To Admit Your Great Job Isn't Your Dream Job

What’s the difference between a good life and a good job?

It might seem like a silly question. To a lot of people, having a good job is a big part of having a good life. But to the millions of people with good jobs who are still unhappy, the distinction is critically important.

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How To Quit Your Job Without Leaving Your Company

Land That Crazy Job

A lot of people are unhappy in their jobs. In fact, 2.8 million Americans quit their jobs every month.

I’ve written extensively about how you should quit your job, and for many people, that advice is all they need. There is, however, one situation where that advice does not suffice.

Some people are at the perfect company, but in the wrong job.

Walking away from one company and into another is a tricky path to chart, but transferring within the same company can also be like navigating a minefield.

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What’s Missing From the Legend of Icarus

In his book The Icarus Deception remarkable thinker and prolific author, Seth Godin, challenges us all to fly closer to the sun.

We all know the legend of Icarus, yet on the first page of his book, Seth identifies an aspect to the story that many of us don’t know.

In a bold plan to escape the prison of King Minos, Icarus’ father, Daedalus, crafts a pair of wings for himself and his son.

With the wings attached with wax that melts under heat, Daedalus warns Icarus not to fly too close to the sun, but, of course, as the legend goes, overcome with hubris the young boy soared too high, lost his wings, and fell to his death in the sea.

Stop Flying Too Low

The lesson we are taught from this story is not to dream too big, not to fly too high, but, as Godin points out, the part of the story that is often missed is that Daedalus also cautioned his son not to fly too low, as the sea below would steal the lift from his wings, and also lead to certain death.

Yet, that’s exactly what most of us do.

Fearful of flying too high, we settle for flying too low. Fearing what it means to stand out, we conform, doing the same things as everyone else, somehow hoping for a different result.

Godin implores us to see that our careers have changed, and putting your head down and working hard is the wrong answer.

“Your ability to follow instructions,” Godin notes, “is not the secret to your success,” and inside this wonderful book he encourages us all to see our role like artists, creating, and sharing our uniqueness with the world.

Follow Your Own Instructions

Even if that’s not how you perceive your career, the lesson still holds. To create a truly remarkable career and life, you must break free of the groupthink to cultivate different ways of thinking, and take different types of actions.

While we often perceive that flying closer to the sun requires great risk, even the grandest of plans comes together through a series of small steps, that are embodied in this simple two-step exercise:

1. Dream BIG. Bigger than big. What is your version of flying high? Close your eyes and imagine what this means for you. For a few minutes, watch a mental movie of you flying all the way there. Imagine what you are doing, who you have become, and most importantly, the feeling of soaring to new heights.

2. Focus on one step: From where you are today, imagine the one step that is now in front of you. Some of you might imagine that as a big step, such as your next promotion, and others might see it simply as the actions you are taking today. Now, with all the energy of reaching new heights, see yourself taking this step.

In achieving even the tallest goals, you don’t need to think beyond this, but to merely keep taking each step as it presents itself, step by step, flying higher and higher.

I recommend doing this exercise frequently (I do it daily), continuing to drill into your mind your highest vision for your life, and reinforcing your focus on CRUSHING the step right in front of you.

How Well Do You Know Your Goals?

Many of us have a loose idea of what we want, but without a clear definition of what we want, and why we want it, we can fail to take the right actions.

Give this exercise a shot. I will warn you might be surprised by what you learn.

Step 1: List your goals. Here’s some to consider, add and subtract as you choose:

Challenge
Contribution / Community
Family
Friends
Growth
Health
Happiness
Love / Connection
Significance / Power
Wealth

Step 2: Force rank your goals. I know it’s hard to rank say, health and family, but that’s the point: How do you prioritize what matters to you?

Step 3: Get specific. It’s great to know that say, wealth is important to you, but how do you specifically define wealth?

Step 4: Get to “Why?” The trick is to ask a very specific question, “What do I get through that?” For instance, take your wealth goal and ask yourself, “What do I get through that?” You might say, “Financial security?” Now, ask again, “What do I get through that?” You might say, “I can give my family the best.” Now, ask again, “What do I get through that?” And, keep asking that question until you get no further. This is your “value,” the goal behind your goal, what is ultimately driving you.

Step 5: Are you living it? Think back over the last 6 months, and ask yourself: How aligned are your goals with your choices? If, say, health is a higher priority to you than time with friends, how do your choices reflect it?

Step 6: Changes: Based on what you have learned, what changes might you make to your goals or the choices you are making?

Interesting exercise, right?

I suggest refreshing this exercise frequently, and, ideally, briefly revisiting your goals daily, to ensure you are taking the right actions.

It's Brad Pitt's Fault

Why will the vast majority of people never chase their dream?

The answer is—Brad Pitt.

No, it’s not because he’s better looking than the rest of us or is rich and famous. It’s because most other actors are dirt poor nobodies.

Imagine this.

You’re at a party in LA and Brad Pitt walks in. How do you imagine the room responds? I’ve seen it, you know what happens.

Now imagine you are standing at the same party talking to a fifty-two year-old actor who works five nights a week waiting tables.

How do you feel talking to him?

He’s the same age as Brad Pitt. He’s also an actor. But if you’re like most people you give him very little status.

That’s because our society doesn’t celebrate actors.

Nor do we celebrate people living their passion and going after their dream.

We celebrate people who have already made it.

And that’s why very few people will ever chase their dream.

They don’t look at that anonymous actor as someone who is living his dream, but someone who is failing.

They look at him waiting tables struggling to get by and think they are better off settling for a mediocre job that they can’t “fail” at.

Inhibited by the fear of going after what they truly want and failing, the vast majority of people will settle for celebrating others.

feeling stuck? try these 5 questions

A mate asked me to speak with his brother who feels stuck at a crossroad in his career.

Ahead of speaking I sent him these five questions that might be helpful to some of you:

1. What do you want? Not right now, but what is your grandest vision for your career and life?

2. What is holding you back from moving towards it? What would change that?

3. How do you dream your career and life will look after you’ve navigated this crossroad? Imagining looking back from that point now, how did you do it?

4. What skills or other capabilities would enable you to keep moving forward?

5. If we were talking two years from now, what would have needed to happen for you to be on track creating the career and life you truly want?

As you see, all of these questions are forward looking and specifically focused on what he might need to change to keep navigating his career.

While sometimes we can feel stuck where we are, when you “directionalize your mind” to the future and focus on the things that you can change, somehow new solutions magically appear…

Don't Stop Believin'

You of course know the song, but do you know the story?

The documentary Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey tells the Cinderella story of Arnel Pineda, a poor Filipino man who was launched to stardom in 2007 as the new lead singer of 80s rock band, Journey.

As the unlikely story goes, having lost a number of lead singers but with their sights set on a new world tour, the band began searching for a new front man.

Sifting through the many videos on YouTube, the band stumbled upon Arnel and his Journey cover band performing in small bars and venues in the Philippines.

Although he barely spoke English—mostly what he learned through singing Journey songs—Arnel had a powerhouse voice and the band invited him to Los Angeles to audition…

Only months later he was headlining shows in front of tens of thousands of die-hard Journey fans!

Even if you don’t yet know how to make your dream come true, never, ever stop believin’.

2 Steps to Killing It in 2016! (pt 2)

Hopefully you had a chance to do part one of this exercise that you can find here.

There you reviewed 2015, in particular focusing on re-living the ways that you killed it and could have killed it more, even imagining that you had…That was step one.

Here’s step two: Set goals for 2016.

Here you’re going to lay out five categories of goals for 2016. And you’re not just going to set them, but work your way through a ridiculously powerful four-step process to get yourself to stick to your goals…

1. Set the vision: Dream and scheme, baby. Sit back, close your eyes if you want, and imagine your year playing out how you want it to be. Really imagine it. See it. Make it bigger and brighter. And feel it. Really feel like this is your year, and watch yourself taking the actions and getting the results you want.

Now, for a few moments go beyond this year: Look out 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, a lifetime, and see how 2016 is setting you up! Feel the excitement!!

2. Choose five categories of goals. You will break down each goal in more detail in step 3, but for now choose your goals.

For instance, my five goals are: Loving my fabulous life (yes, I set it as my #1 goal to be loving my life). Driving my business. Family. Friends. And most importantly, my spiritual path and serving. Notice that for me common goals like health, personal development, mindset, and success are missing because they are omnipresent in my life. Some others might be missing that are most important for you.

3. Break down each goal into sub-goals (e.g. a sub-goal of Driving my business is writing my third book), set specific goals for 2016, and then apply the filters A-E:

A. Add Pain: Look, the truth is that us humans more often than not respond to pain more than pleasure. So before you get all excited about what you get from achieving your goals, first ask yourself, what pain will you get from failing to commit and take action? What pain will you feel if you let yourself down? If you wimp out? Will you feel like someone who can’t cut it? Someone who isn’t willing to do what it takes to succeed? Is that who you are? Feel it, add that pain to giving up on your goals, and give yourself the leverage you might need.

B. Add Pleasure: Really feel what you get from your goals. Don’t just think about it, but really feel it. I mean, really. So, if you said, you want a new man or woman in your life, ask yourself, what do you get through that? What is the feeling? Loving someone? Being loved? Sharing deeply? Really, go into the feeling and ask yourself, what do you get through that feeling? If it’s being loved, what do you get through that? And through that? And that? Keep asking this question, going deeper into bliss, and tying as much pleasure as you can to your goals…

C. Get clear on your outcome: Get clear on your target and visualize your goal, feeling what it’s like to blow through your target. Really feel it. Imagine yourself at the end of 2016 looking back and seeing that you killed it. How does this feel? Really, again, like you did in Step B, go deep into this feeling. Punch the air. Celebrate. Imagine what you will do and how you will feel. Imagine, who have you become?

D. Get clear on your process: The reason most people will never get what they want is because they are focused on “manifesting” the outcome, when they need to be absorbed in taking the actions that drive success. Look forward and get clear on what needs to happen to get the results you want. Draw up a plan, imagine yourself taking the actions, and commit right now to take them. Infuse the pleasure of your goal into the actions you imagine taking and also the pain you will get from failing to take them…

E. Get BETTER: Goals are not about what you get, but who you are becoming. Look, if you’ve set a real goal (one that actually requires you to get better or otherwise fail), then you must grow if you want to succeed. So, how are you going to grow? How do you see yourself differently? What do you commit to do differently every day to become the person who is crushing your goals? Write out five things you plan to do differently and apply pain to failing to do them. Is that overcoming fears? Building new skills? Training your mind and body for success? Again, commit yourself to doing what it takes, ask yourself how you will feel if you wimp out, and commit to take action.

4. Super-review: For each of your goals, take your time to carefully work through Steps A-E. Then, after you imagine each goal coming together, sit back and close your eyes for at least ten minutes and imagine all of the pieces coming together making your year even more magical than you could have imagined.

I suggest you take hours if not days or weeks (as I have with a number of clients) to write out detailed ideas for these steps and to specifically tune how your pain and pleasure and focus and actions and growth bring all of this together for you.

Then for the duration of 2016, review a summary of your goals every morning, and the detailed notes at least every couple of weeks. Use this to hold yourself to your goals and to commit yourself to the progress targets required to achieve them.

Oh, and have fun. I’m serious. Look, I’m serious about goals. I’m serious about my business. I’m serious about you getting what you want, but you’ve gotta be having fun. This life, this one moment, this one year, this is all we have…LOVE IT

Think of Kobe Bryant. He’s competitive as heck and wants to win, but every time he runs out on the court he’s playing the game he loves…AND KILLING IT.

Make 2016 the same way!

2 steps to killing it in 2016!

What’s the best way to kill it in 2016? Make some pathetically impotent new year’s resolutions, or take stock of how you killed it in 2015 and use it to plan ahead…

Here in Vail, with the help of a few clients, I’ve been designing a year-end process that I plan to roll out next year as a two-day winter retreat.

Like all of my work I’ve been focused on building an incredibly rigorous yet simple two-step process for propelling yourself out of this year and into next…

Step one: Review this year.

Ask yourself these five questions, and to get real benefit from this process spend at least an hour writing out your answers.

1. Where did you win this year? Not just in your business or career, but in your life— family, health, mindset, etc.—where did you excel this year? Look back on your year and write out at least 10 things that you feel went great and take some time to reflect on your success. Celebrate what you did right. Look back on how you made things happen, and most importantly build up the feeling of what it’s like to be killing it!!

2. Where did you lose this year? Look back and create a list of at least 10 ways that you lost. Again, consider your business, career, and financial, but also more generally reflect on your life, health, family, mindset, and so on. Reflect on where you could have done better and more been the person you know you can be. Again, build up the emotion, but avoid any beating up on yourself, regret, or other useless negative emotions.

3. Now, here is the key question: When you won or lost this year, what was different? Was it about your level of commitment? Preparation? Will? Wimping out? An excess or lack of skills? Some other factor that consistently leads you to success in some areas of your life or failure in others? Here you want to go into your processes and understand what you do differently when you win, relative to when you lose…Again take the time to write out thoughtful answers.

4. If you could re-write this year, what would you change? If you could go back and turn on more of the things that lead you to success and turn off those things that led you to fail, what would you do differently? How would you be different? What results might have been different for you? Again, take some time to go back through what you wrote in Steps 1-3 and write out some solid answers.

5. Close your eyes for a few moments and reflect on Step 4. See yourself back at the start of this year having made these changes, and imagine seeing your year play out differently. See yourself winning more. See yourself turning around some of your loses, and imagine more great things that might have come into your life.

And here’s the trick in this. Take all of your memories and feel as much positive energy as you can about this year. Let your loses fade away into the past, and infuse as much celebration and joy into your year as you can muster.

Take at least an hour to set this up and then review your ideas twice a day for the next few days. Then, let’s talk Step two.

What is more disheartening?

Over dinner at Monkey Bar my friend realized she went to school with the waiter.

Having not seen each other for more than a decade they took a fun trip down memory lane.

Then, when she asked him what he was now doing, he said what you hear all too often.

He was still chasing his dream as an actor, and waiting tables is how he pays the bills to keep his dream alive.

Afterwards I got thinking how hard it must be to have a dream for your life that you can’t make come true.

I thought, to chase your dream for years, even decades, and to not seem to be getting any closer must be disheartening.

Yet then I thought, what is more disheartening, forever living inside the excitement of chasing your dream or giving up altogether?

Enjoy this twice daily!

Just for a moment, put down whatever you are doing, and sit back.

You can keep your eyes open if you like or you can relax and close your eyes.

Just imagine your life some time out in the future; how do you dream it to be?

Really…In your wildest dreams, how do you imagine your life to be?

What is this most amazing version of your life?

Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?

How does this life of yours feel? Really…how deeply can you feel this now?

You can do better than that. Feel it even more…

What about your career? What’s happening there?

Have you made your money and are on the beach or elsewhere? Are you doing what you love? Surrounded by people you are inspired by?

What is so magical about this life? Do you believe you can create it?

Even if you don’t believe it, can you imagine how it would be when you do?

Now, just imagine looking back from this point and seeing where you are today.

Do you see how just a series of steps every day keeps you creating this life? What is one step you are taking today?

Knowing you are moving towards this life, how can you feel that you already have it?

Energy, Energy, Energy, Energy, Energy

I can’t tell you how much this is about energy.

I am SHOUTING THIS as loudly as I can through the screen.

Really! Energy. Energy. Energy. Energy. Energy. It’s all about your energy.

All of it. Really. All of it.

Your goals are all about your energy.

You must get fired up about what you want. Get so jacked into the energy you need to bring your goals to life.

You want to wake up this way. You want to communicate this way.

When Martin Luther King had a dream, he didn’t meekly say, “I have this goal that kindof matters to me.”

He told everyone his dream with such conviction that we still talk about it.

And it’s energy that gets you taking powerful action.

If you show up at the gym a little tired thinking, I don’t feel like working out, what type of workout do you have?

It takes energy to move steel. It takes energy to crush skulls. Whatever you want, it takes energy.

Some people say—When I have this great house or great car or great partner or great career or great whatever, I will feel great.

But that’s the problem. It must work the other way.

When you feel great you take the actions to get your great house or great car or great partner or great career or great whatever.

It’s all about your energy.

Optimism, enthusiasm, passion, belief, excitement, joyfulness, whatever you name it, just get into it.

"Am I Thinking BIG Enough?"

At the end of our meeting today, sitting catty corner at the bar, my client said to me, “I have just one more question for you.”

“Hit me,” I said.

He paused for a moment, his face muscles tightened and he got a serious look in his eye, then he said, “Am I thinking big enough?”

Without hesitation, I blurted, “NO.”

Watching his non-verbals I could see he was jolted, but he was pleased to get the answer he wanted.

We both knew that if he’s asking the question, then the answer is “no.”

You know when you are thinking big. You question when you are thinking small.

In starting Amazon, Jeff Bezos never failed the test of thinking small.

He started small with one product, selling books, but he was never thinking small.

Michelangelo said, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

I have met many men and women who have achieved great success, but few who feel they have gone as far as they can go. As my old trainer used to say, “If you’re not puking in the corner, you can stand up and fight.”

Last night another client told me, “I want people to write books about me. I want them to say, ‘I don’t know how he did it, but what he did is unbelievable.'”

He has no idea what we’ll cook up, but he has the taste of BIG.

I can get behind that. Every day of the week I get behind that.

Today I spoke with a fellow who told me that he was planning to get on the phone and beg me to take him on as a client.

It is true that based on the conversation I expected to have that even begging like Oliver Twist he would have failed, but as soon as he told me he was thinking big and has a mission to be a force for good, I was in.

‘Nuff said.

These are the people I want in my life. They are already playing big, but they want to see how far they can take it.

With that attitude it doesn’t matter how far you get.

As Norman Vincent Peale said, “Shoot for the moon because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Nip And Tuck All You Like…Nothing Will Change

After two decades as a pioneer in plastic surgery, Dr. Maxwell Maltz put away the scalpel.

Adjusting their noses. Lips. Jaws. Eyes. Boobs. Seeing patients show up repeatedly, Maltz came to a powerful realization.

He could nip and tuck time and time again, but if his patients didn’t change the way they perceived themselves, their self-image, nothing would change.

As he wrote, “If the scalpel was magic, why did some people who acquired new faces go right on wearing their old personalities?”

In his revolutionary book, Psycho-Cybernetics—which has sold 30+ million copies and displays cover art gifted to him by Salvador Dali—Maltz highlights an often over-looked aspect of success and happiness.

Posing the question, “Why are the rich and powerful unhappy?” Maltz writes, “To really live, that is to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live with. You must find yourself acceptable to you.”

And while this is a powerful prescription in itself, Maltz goes much further, laying out a mechanism for achieving any goal.

“In short, the goals you attempt to convey to this mechanism are filtered through the self-image,” wrote Maltz, “and if they are inconsistent with the self-image, they are rejected or modified.”

Maltz concluded that, not only must you be able to visualize your goals being achieved, you must develop the self-image of you being the person achieving them.

Take, for instance, an Olympic decathlete with her sights set on gold.

Not only must she be able to visualize an athlete winning gold, but she must imagine herself as the athlete standing in the center podium for all the world to see.

She’s not just seeing gold being won. She is building her self-image as the one winning gold.

An obese man with an enormous tush and a healthy goal must first build a healthy self-image, and the same is true for any goal.

Not only must you be able to visualize your goal happening, you must first see yourself as the person that is making it happen.

No Goals, No Game

Without goals a football field is an empty plot of grass.

But with goals, now you have a game!

Have A Target

In my Do What You Want books I wrote:

“You do not need to read book after book or study after study to know that setting goals is important to getting what you want. If you are firing a gun, you already know that you damn well better have a target.”

Yet few people clearly define targets for their career and life.

They might have a loose idea of where they are headed, but like an offensive line just moseying down the pitch, you rarely score that way.

Goals = Focus

Getting started, a new client said to me, “I get goals are important, but what is the real purpose of defining my goals?”

One word: “Focus.”

When you clearly define your goals you know what does and doesn’t matter to you and you know how to prioritize your time.

And because no spare time is going to magically appear for you to put towards your goals, getting what you want is a matter of focus and prioritizing your time.

Without clear goals, many people are running ragged chasing dozens of balls around an empty field, but if you want to win the game of life, you need focus. You need goals.

And although many people turn goal setting into a complex and painful exercise, it should be fast, easy, and fun:

Right now, take a moment to get excited about what you want and why you want it, then write down three clear goals and three actions you are now committed to taking.

Do You HTFU?

One of my former Carlyle colleagues starting running ultra-marathons.

Real hard-core stuff, like 4 days crossing a desert with little more than a canister of oil to keep you warm at night.

Some time ago before one of his races I remember him posting a picture of him with “HTFU” written perhaps by hand in the dusty rear window of the support vehicle.

I thought, ‘Exactly, that’s the type of support you need when you are in that situation.’

You don’t want someone to give you a hug and commiserate how hard it is to keep going.

You want them to grab your collar and ask you: “Are you the sort of person who caves or do you harden the fuck up?”

When your feet are burning.

Blistered.

Your body is hurting all over.

With only miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…ahead of you.

Are you the type of person who focuses on how hard it will be to go the distance?

Or do you harden the fuck up?

Here's to the Losers

Scanning the list of newly minted Goldman Sachs partners I had mixed emotions.

Seeing some familiar names I was delighted for those who made it, but I was disappointed for those who didn’t, particularly one buy-sider.

When I spoke to him he was devastated. Frustrated. Angry. Upset. Experiencing every emotion that comes with giving your best and failing.

But that didn’t stop me from vigorously congratulating him and suggesting a celebration is in order.

Surprised, he asked: “What do you mean? We failed, I didn’t get my result, you don’t get half your fee, what is there to be celebrating?”

“We are celebrating giving it your best shot. We are celebrating the tremendous progress you have made taking your career to another level. We are celebrating who you have become in striving for a goal that was out of reach.” I responded.

Michael Jordan said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” And that is exactly how my client thinks.

I first met with him eighteen months ago when I was stationed in London for a couple of months we began kicking around the idea of whether he might make partner this year.

It was an outside shot. Far from being a lay-up, it wasn’t even a long three-pointer, it was more like standing at center court throwing the ball backwards over your head hoping to land the shot.

Having been promoted quickly to managing director, it was highly unlikely he would be promoted quickly to partner. At first he estimated he had a 10% probability of success, and as we talked it over we thought we could get it to 25%, perhaps a 50-50 shot.

So I asked him, “Is that worth it?”

“Absolutely” he said, “I have never been the tortoise and I want to do everything I can to accelerate my career.”

And that’s what we did.

Unleashing all the angles, driving the three tracks you can learn more about in The Guide, we focused on his external track—building commercial success—his internal track—influencing the firm—and his development track, building him into the best he can be.

It takes guts to train your sights on what you truly want, especially when the odds are stacked against you. Yet often, it is not a matter of whether you succeed, but whether you are even in the game.

It is easy to hang back and take what comes to you. It easy to make up excuses as to why it wasn’t your year, yet there is no greater reward than going after a hard goal and seeing who you become in the process.

And although my clients don’t always get the results they want, particularly when we are targeting a low probability outcome, even when they lose, they still win.

If you are buying a security you want multiple ways you can win on your investment, and we designed our process knowing that if he didn’t make partner, he would still win.

By taking his game to an entirely different level, and elevating his stature in the industry, this year he received a number of lucrative job offers. Also, based on his incredible performance this year he will certainly receive a sizeable boost in comp.

Of course this is a consolation prize for the goal he failed to reach, yet when you go after it in your career your consolation prize can be a far better outcome than those who simply fail to reach.

As Norman Vincent Peale said, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

In our society we celebrate success, yet those hard-charging losers who give it their best shot against the odds are just as surely winners to me.

Bonus Season Likely To Disappoint

Catching that headline in Dealbook, I thought, “what’s new?”

Bonus season always disappoints most people on Wall Street. It is only a question of whether this bonus season will disappoint you.

Now here’s the thing about disappointment: It takes adequate planning.

And while many people might be planning to be disappointed, how many people have been planning their strategy for getting paid?

Candidly, for most people it is already too late. If you haven’t been thinking ahead and laying the groundwork for getting paid, it is likely there is little you can do at this point.

Sure, you might be able to deploy a tactic or two here and there, but the best strategy for getting paid (and promoted for that matter) is to be planting and watering the seeds every day of the year.

It’s like the way an expert at seduction approaches a date. Whereas the average chump waits till he is dropping a woman off at her door to try and plant a kiss or negotiate his way inside, the expert is setting it up from the minute they meet.

Touching her innocently building intimacy, using emotionally-laden language, talking about unique and funny things back at his place, he’s subtly building expectations of where he expects the date to end.

You want to do the same if you are serious about getting paid.

Rather than waiting till the end of the year to make your push, you want to be sowing the seeds of what you are worth at the beginning of the year.

For instance, early in the year you might sit with your boss and say something like:

“This year I’m incredibly focused on doing everything I can to drive the business and deliver enormous value to the firm, and I would love your thoughts on ways you think I can keep driving the business this year.”

This is an example of what I call “Feed-forward,” which means, rather than wait for feedback at the end of the year, instead at the beginning and all the way throughout the year, feed-forward your expectations and performance.

This is easy to do when you are constantly planning your actions, and although this might seem like one random idea for getting paid, in fact, this is one part of the formula to building what I call a directed career.

A directed career means: know what you want and build your system for getting it. This is the entire purpose of The Guide.

It is the only book you will ever need for getting what you want in your career.