Winning

25% Of Bankers Think I’m Not Smoking Crack

At dinner with one of my friends and former bosses he told me that all of the bankers in his group had seen my videos.

So, naturally, I asked him, “what do they think?”

Now, not to be one to pull punches, and because we know each other well, he just said to me, “well, it’s mixed.”

And waving his hands side to side like the French do when they use the phrase, “comme ci, comme ça,” he went on to say, that some of the bankers in his group think my work is very interesting and the rest think I’m smoking crack.

Who Does That?

Now. Just for the record, truth be told, I’ve never smoked crack, but more than once I’ve heard the accusation…

And so I asked him, roughly, what percent of people do you think fall into the category of me not smoking crack? He thought about it for a bit and then said, about 25% (although I think he was being generous).

And I tell you that felt pretty good to me.

That’s because for as long as I can remember almost all people I’ve met have thought my work to be pretty out there. Not because my ideas are, they are of course very logical, but moreso because they tend to look at me like, “who does that?”

And they’re right! Who does that?

Continue

Life Lessons From The Old-School

Who do you listen to? One of my teacher’s likes to ask that question over and over again. Who do you listen to?

In the world of personal development there are many so-called experts and gurus, yet over and over I come back to that question – who do you listen to?

For my money, rather than paying attention to the so-called new age experts, I find myself going back and reading and re-reading the old-school experts.

That means before you find me following some guru, you’ll find me going back to Benjamin Franklin. And before I’m sitting reading another new book on the mind, you’ll find me re-reading Think and Grow Rich, learning again and again how history’s most successful greatest thinkers used their minds.

The same is true for me when it comes to Wall Street. So when people ask me who do I listen to on The Street, rarely do I think of the young, fast-money types, but rather I think of the old-school, those who’ve been around a long time, seen a lot of cycles, and have the perspective that only comes from decades of experience on The Street.

That’s why in catching up on a winter’s load of reading this piece from Byron Wien jumped out at me. While I’m less into his mystical predictions of market and macro events, his Lessons Learned in his First 80 Years is one that grabbed my attention.

Here are some of the lessons I have learned in my first 80 years. I hope to continue to practice them in the next 80.

1. Concentrate on finding a big idea that will make an impact on the people you want to influence. The Ten Surprises, which I started doing in 1986, has been a defining product. People all over the world are aware of it and identify me with it. What they seem to like about it is that I put myself at risk by going on record with these events which I believe are probable and hold myself accountable at year-end. If you want to be successful and live a long, stimulating life, keep yourself at risk intellectually all the time.

2. Network intensely. Luck plays a big role in life, and there is no better way to increase your luck than by knowing as many people as possible. Nurture your network by sending articles, books and emails to people to show you’re thinking about them. Write op-eds and thought pieces for major publications. Organize discussion groups to bring your thoughtful friends together.

3. When you meet someone new, treat that person as a friend. Assume he or she is a winner and will become a positive force in your life. Most people wait for others to prove their value. Give them the benefit of the doubt from the start. Occasionally you will be disappointed, but your network will broaden rapidly if you follow this path.

4. Read all the time. Don’t just do it because you’re curious about something, read actively. Have a point of view before you start a book or article and see if what you think is confirmed or refuted by the author. If you do that, you will read faster and comprehend more.

5. Get enough sleep. Seven hours will do until you’re sixty, eight from sixty to seventy, nine thereafter, which might include eight hours at night and a one-hour afternoon nap.

6. Evolve. Try to think of your life in phases so you can avoid a burn-out. Do the numbers crunching in the early phase of your career. Try developing concepts later on. Stay at risk throughout the process.

7. Travel extensively. Try to get everywhere before you wear out. Attempt to meet local interesting people where you travel and keep in contact with them throughout your life. See them when you return to a place.

8. When meeting someone new, try to find out what formative experience occurred in their lives before they were seventeen. It is my belief that some important event in everyone’s youth has an influence on everything that occurs afterwards.

9. On philanthropy my approach is to try to relieve pain rather than spread joy. Music, theatre and art museums have many affluent supporters, give the best parties and can add to your social luster in a community. They don’t need you. Social service, hospitals and educational institutions can make the world a better place and help the disadvantaged make their way toward the American dream.

10. Younger people are naturally insecure and tend to overplay their accomplishments. Most people don’t become comfortable with who they are until they’re in their 40’s. By that time they can underplay their achievements and become a nicer, more likeable person. Try to get to that point as soon as you can.

11. Take the time to give those who work for you a pat on the back when they do good work. Most people are so focused on the next challenge that they fail to thank the people who support them. It is important to do this. It motivates and inspires people and encourages them to perform at a higher level.

12. When someone extends a kindness to you write them a handwritten note, not an e-mail. Handwritten notes make an impact and are not quickly forgotten.

13. At the beginning of every year think of ways you can do your job better than you have ever done it before. Write them down and look at what you have set out for yourself when the year is over.

14. The hard way is always the right way. Never take shortcuts, except when driving home from the Hamptons. Short-cuts can be construed as sloppiness, a career killer.

15. Don’t try to be better than your competitors, try to be different. There is always going to be someone smarter than you, but there may not be someone who is more imaginative.

16. When seeking a career as you come out of school or making a job change, always take the job that looks like it will be the most enjoyable. If it pays the most, you’re lucky. If it doesn’t, take it anyway, I took a severe pay cut to take each of the two best jobs I’ve ever had, and they both turned out to be exceptionally rewarding financially.

17. There is a perfect job out there for everyone. Most people never find it. Keep looking. The goal of life is to be a happy person and the right job is essential to that.

18. When your children are grown or if you have no children, always find someone younger to mentor. It is very satisfying to help someone steer through life’s obstacles, and you’ll be surprised at how much you will learn in the process.

19. Every year try doing something you have never done before that is totally out of your comfort zone. It could be running a marathon, attending a conference that interests you on an off-beat subject that will be populated by people very different from your usual circle of associates and friends or traveling to an obscure destination alone. This will add to the essential process of self-discovery.

20. Never retire. If you work forever, you can live forever. I know there is an abundance of biological evidence against this theory, but I’m going with it anyway.

Daily Reminders – What's Yours?

People often tell me that I live a fascinating life. It’s strange to hear because to me it just feels like my life. It’s a response that speaks to the human trait of adaptability. Physically and mentally we are highly adaptable creatures. As a species, we are able to adapt to almost any climate, food source, and raw materials necessary for surviving, and indeed in most cases, thriving.

As individuals, our bodies are highly adaptive. Consider one simple example, walking. The physical movement, the sense of footing and balance, the adjustments, etc. Each step an adaptive physical process we call walking.

Mentally we are even more adaptable. Consider for instance the mind’s ability to affect physical performance, say through the activity of mental rehearsal. In this case, a weight-lifter can’t think more muscle, but by harnessing his mind he can think more strength. Mentally, we adapt all day every day – constantly processing new information, circumstances, decisions, people, thought processes, whatever. Our minds and bodies are literally and physically continuously adapting.

Adaptability has massive benefits but requires some Attention. It’s this adaptability that enables humans to keep pushing forward. As a species, it’s what got us from the farms to the factories and exploring the seas to exploring the galaxies. As individuals, it’s what gets us from achieving our goals and resting on our laurels to choosing new goals and pushing forward – what took Eminem from Refill to Recovery. Adaptability also helps us overcome adverse circumstances – deaths, failure, etc. – and to survive and thrive in a world of constant change. But, the cost of all this wonderful adaptability often comes in our failure to appreciate what we have, when we have it.

And what’s the point of all this pushing forward – as a species, as individuals – if we can’t appreciate what we have at each point in time that we have it? From hot showers to iPods to freedom. And what’s the point of all this adaptability if we don’t appreciate what we had to adapt for? To grow. To achieve something. My life is fascinating because I have the time and financial flexibility to explore my passions. I’ve adapted to it. My daily reminder is to appreciate it. What’s your daily reminder?

Stop Hating Your Job

Although it’s not always easy to change our jobs it’s always easy to change the way we think about them.

For instance, if you think of work as something you have to do, it will feel like an obligation, like something you don’t want to do.

Or if you think of it as “just a job,” then it will feel like just a job. It will be just a job. But it’s easy to change the way we think about our work.

What Ways?

Consider: Your work isn’t just a job. It’s how you earn your income, how you support your life and perhaps the lives of others. It is your livelihood.

Or: Your work isn’t just a job. It’s how you spend most of your days. It is how you spend your time.

Or: Your work isn’t just a job. It’s how you express yourself in the world. It is who you are to yourself and others.

Or: Your work isn’t just a job. That’s like saying your life is just a collection of hours.

No matter what job, you can think of it as you choose.

Look For What Is Good

I’ve seen this in my jobs from factory floors to Wall Street and read about it in books about happiness and Working. The happiest folks in their work are not those with the “best” jobs.

They are the folks that choose to look for what is “best” in their jobs and to be happy in their work. A common example being janitors seeing themselves alongside doctors and nurses as part of overall patient care.

They say more than 65% of people are dissatisfied in their jobs.

I’d suggest that dissatisfied is a pretty lousy option when you have two perfectly good options.

If we don’t like our jobs we can change them or change the way we think about them. Each goes hand in hand.

When we stop thinking about hating our jobs we have more time to think about what we like about them and/or how to change them.

Music and Life

I took singing lessons for a couple of years. I was pretty terrible to begin with and I was only moderately terrible when I stopped. But improving my singing was only part of it. It was mostly about the thrill and challenge of learning something entirely different, and something that’s hard to get good with, exposure and a skill.

As an audiophile I sing mostly to get closer to music. Learning to sing encouraged me to listen to songs far more closely and get much more from my music. Some of the songs I sing teach me something about myself, some teach me about all of us. Here’s one of those – Aerials, System Of A Down

Life is a waterfall

We’re one in the river

And one again after the fall

Swimming through the void

We hear the word

We lose ourselves

But we find it all….

Cause we are the ones that want to play

Always want to go

But you never want to stay

And we are the ones that want to choose

Always want to play

But you never want to lose

Aerials, in the sky

When you lose small mind

You free your life

Optimism Drives Prosperity. Happy Labor Day!

We are a nation known for optimism. It’s easy to be optimistic when the world is your oyster but optimism matters more when we have cause to question it. Labor Day is a day when we celebrate the efforts of the American worker and the prosperity those efforts have created. Effort is a function of mindset and optimism as a mindset is a powerful driver of effort. At a time many Americans are becoming less optimistic, it’s important we recognize that it is optimism and effort that will continue to drive our prosperity. These are some of my favorite quotes on optimism. Happy Labor Day!

“The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were.” – JFK

“The key to success is delusional optimism. Some people call it resilience. You’re lying there bleeding on the ground and you basically have to say, ‘Maybe tomorrow will be better.'” – Melissa Rosenberg

“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight…. The truly wise person is colorblind.” – Dr. Albert Schweitzer

“Optimism is true moral courage.” – Ernest Shackleton

“What we want is not blind optimism but flexible optimism—optimism with its eyes open. We must be able to use pessimism’s keen sense of reality when we need it, but without having to dwell in its dark shadows.” – Martin Seligman

“We believe in having a positive and optimistic (but realistic) attitude about everything we do, because we realize that this inspires others to have the same attitude.” – Tony Hsieh

“If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.” – Oscar Wilde

“My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.” – Henry Rollins

“Optimism doesn’t wait on facts. It deals with prospects. Pessimism is a waste of time.” Norman Cousins

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” – William James

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” – Colin Powell

Read: Way of The Peaceful Warrior

My friend Jon reads this book a couple of times a year. He can be a little obsessive about things but Way of The Peaceful Warrior is a book worth being obsessive about. I’m not one for writing book reviews and I’d simply say that of the many personal development books I’ve read this is one my favorites. It’s a classic hero’s journey, a piquant fiction/non-fiction with a long list of principles for living a richer life. Here’s some of my favorite quotes:

“Life is not a private affair. A story and its lessons are only made useful if shared”

“Life requires more than knowledge; it requires intense feeling and constant energy. Life demands right action if knowledge is to come alive”

“If you remain blind to your weaknesses, you can’t correct them—nor can you play up your strength”

“There are no accidents, Danny. Everything is a lesson. Everything has a purpose, a purpose, a purpose”

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold onto it forever”

“Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for”

“There are no ordinary moments!”

“All these years I had been sustained by an illusion—happiness through victory—and now that illusion was burned to ashes. I was no happier, no more fulfilled, for all my achievements”

“Better to live until you die. I am a warrior; my way is action”

“Lao Tzu fell asleep and dreamt he was a butterfly. Upon awakening, he asked himself, “Am I a man who has just been dreaming that he was a butterfly, or a sleeping butterfly, now dreaming that he is a man?”

Read, Relax into Trance

I’ve been slipping in and out of trance state all week.

Having finished ten days doing hypnosis and being hypnotized my body is eager for more trance. Yes. I know it sounds weird, well, to anybody who’s never been in hypnotic trance. Or at least anybody who didn’t think they’d been in trance.

A Natural State

We go into mild trance all the time.

Take this example of highway hypnosis, when we zone out driving along the road.

Or the many times we find ourselves just staring into the distance. Or sometimes while watching TV, relaxing into a trance-like state. Or while reading, just letting the words fade out and staring calmly at the screen.

You see, it’s perfectly natural that we go into these trance states many times a day.

Easy To Practice

Because these are natural ways of being, it’s easy to practice this calm, relaxed way of being.

As we focus our attention on say a point on the screen or the stillness of our hands, we allow our bodies to relax. As I relax, I often notice a calmness in my mind, like my thoughts slowing down. As my thoughts slow down I begin to notice my breathing. My heart rate slows, my breaths become shallower. As I breathe more slowly, my body relaxes. As my body relaxes, I breathe more slowly. That’s right. It’s this easy to bring our minds to this place.

It’s a wonderful way of being, and also a powerful experience for evolving our minds.

Walk Your Path. Leave A Trail.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail – Emerson

Talking about HYPNOSIS has some of my friends questioning my sanity. Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I really “believed in it.” It led me to ponder how far off the beaten path I sometimes stray. It led me to ponder the definition of “beaten.” It led me to realize that there’s no such thing as A beaten path, just THE path that each of us beat.

Odd paths to some – hypnosis, healing, the Singularity, MMA, etc. – these paths I’ve experienced through my interests are THE paths of others. I’ve learned more about myself from walking other’s paths than from most other experiences and the hundreds of self-help books I’ve read. Training with pro fighters taught me about toughness, healing taught me about my minds, and learning hypnosis taught me reality, that there is no one. Not all of us want to shift our reality, to walk other paths. Here are some of the reasons I DO.

MIX IT UP: There is no perspective without contrast. I call this mix it up – hobbies, reading, people, travel, whatever. Our definition of reality is experiential. Change experience, change reality

WHAT ARE WE LEARNING?: We rarely learn just what we intended. As Dale Carnegie once noted, “he didn’t teach people to speak, rather he taught them to conquer their fears and develop courage”

SEE THE MATRIX: It’s easier to get the world as a whole when you’ve experienced more of the parts. As Michael Singer writes in Untethered Soul, “Life is not something you get; you experience”

LEARN, SKILLS: We are built to learn. Learning new skills is one of our most engaging life experiences. It also equips us with new skills. My friends laugh now but when the machines attack they will call me

PEOPLE, PLACES: New interests expose us to different types of people and environments. We learn and grow and adapting to different people and environments is an important life skill

BEING BAD: It’s important to do new things, to get comfortable with having to learn from scratch, from being bad at something. It builds character

YOUR PATH, THE TRAIL: There is no path, only YOUR PATH. But it’s not the path that matters. It’s the trail

Hearing Everyone. Hearing No-one. Are You Getting It?

It’s noisy online. How does anyone get heard on the web, Facebook, or Twitter? Even with only 200 friends on Facebook I struggle to hear anyone. And on Twitter, even my two friendly followers have hundreds of people they follow and thousands of people who follow them.

The Internet is like a crowded cocktail party. From any spot in the room the chatter sounds like a stream of noise, yet up close you can tune in to a limitless number of conversations. For this reason it’s hard to attract an online audience and even harder to keep their attention.

So, how do you do it? I don’t know yet. But I know others do. And I know that success at any goal can be broken down into three steps – Define It, Get It, and Get It Done. So, if Define It is the goal and Getting It Done is just doing it, what is Getting It? Well, I define Getting It to be the activity of deconstructing any goal into the few factors that truly matter to success. In the context of building an online audience, although Getting It Done is not, Getting It is simple:

Content: People with little to say stand alone at cocktail parties and online. Excellent content helps, but producing any appealing content matters most. Writing is akin to manufacturing and a writer must produce.

Publishing: It’s gotten harder and easier to publish. The collapse of the traditional publishing industries – books and journalism – has made it harder and easier and self publishing has never been easier. Writers must seek out traditional and self publishing and build online communities.

Promotion: Whether it be traditional or online publishing, writing is a business of self-promotion – like success in many facets of life, it’s about getting your voice heard. Hence, writers must become self-promoters, a la the shameless, noisy, and remarkable one-time author, Tim Ferris.

Now, think of your most important goal. What really matters to success? Are you Getting It?

We Are The Lindsay Lohan Economy

Rumor is Lindsay is on the way from the big house to rehab. I say good luck, Lindsay. I also say it’s time America started to support her. We owe her; for our benefit she has lived her life on our stage. I’d challenge anybody to walk in her shoes, to live in her mind, and to live their life seeing the world through her eyes. I wrote this to support Lindsay and to support America. We’re all in this together.

**This is a format I call economic poetry. But that’s my fancy name for bullet points**

WE ARE THE LINDSAY LOHAN ECONOMY.

WE’VE IGNORED OUR LONG-TERM PROBLEMS BY PARTYING LIKE IT’S 1999;

AND IT SEEMS WE ARE CONTENT AS LONG AS THE DJ KEEPS SPINNING.

WHILE THE MUSIC WAS PLAYING WE SPENT ON FRIVOLOUS CONSUMPTION

AND WHEN THE PARTY ENDED WE NAIVELY WONDERED WHAT WENT WRONG.

BY PARTYING HARD WE HAVE RISKED OUR LONG-TERM PROSPERITY,

BUT WHEN YOU’RE A STAR YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN IT AROUND.