We all want the same thing.
Everything we want is driven by this goal behind every goal—a feeling.
That’s right. No matter what we want, all we seek is a feeling.
We have different names for it and different ways to describe it, yet everything we want is driven by a feeling.
Often that feeling is a projection of how we expect to feel when we have something—How special will I feel when I get a new car or house or shirt or bag or woman or shoes or whatever?
Yet more often that feeling doesn’t come from “things” but from experiences. Think: Do you want the house or to be enjoying it? Do you want a family or to be experiencing time with them?
Renowned mythologist, writer, and lecturer Joseph Campbell observed that, “People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive.”
Do you feel that? When you think about the times you are most alive, what do you notice about that feeling?
I most readily feel this way when I’m fully absorbed in what I’m doing, when everything else fades away and you’re absorbed in this moment.
This is akin to the state that Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes in his famous book on happiness and performance, Flow.
Like an athlete in the zone or a runner on a high or a kid playing video games, when we are completely absorbed in what we’re doing, we feel most alive.
I naturally create these experiences writing, skiing, and doing other activities, and I also train this state of mind with meditation, hypnosis, and exercise.
You can also practice reminding yourself of the times you most feel this way, and seek out more experiences that bring you more alive.