I keep on my desk a summary of Dale Carnegie’s principles from his famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
In his book he has some 30 simple principles you can easily use that he boils down to short statements like, “Give honest and sincere appreciation.”
I keep them as a reminder for myself and sometimes I work through them with my clients, such as today.
My client is having a difficult situation with one of her senior managers.
The manager has clearly made some mistakes, my client could have managed her better, but at this point my client wants to get the relationship back on the road.
After talking about it for a little bit, we went into each of Carnegie’s principles for being a leader.
It was a hugely constructive way for us to resolve this, and I thought some of you might benefit from reminding yourself of these principles too:
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.